Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Cubs hired Theo Epstein

 The Cubs introduced Theo Epstein Tuesday as Exectutive Vice President of Talent Relations president of baseball operations with a press conference.  Was it as hilarious as Doug Melvin's was??

Yep

Full stories at cbssports.com and the world's greatest newspaper.

Let's dive into this one.

"It feels truly great to be a Cub today," Epstein said in his opening remarks.

That's because there's no game today

"I'd like to thank Cubs fans for being so incredibly welcoming to me and my family already

you haven't lost a game yet



I was ready for the next big challenge, and this is the ultimate challenge

time travel is the ultimate challenge, you've got a bigger problem

His hiring has been so well received in Chicago that Epstein seemed a little embarrassed by all the attention.

you think the attention is embarrassing, wait until you see them play

"I should probably have another press conference right now to resign because my popularity definitely has to be at an all-time high right now," he joked.

not sure that was a joke

Epstein said he would go to Florida to speak with manager Mike Quade about his status

it's nice to fire people in person instead of over the phone

When asked about incumbent manager Mike Quade, Epstein said that the manager, coming off his first full season as skipper, "seems like a great guy,"

I will give him a hug after firing him

and also said in a "Chicago Tribune Live" interview he wanted to get to know Carlos Zambrano before forming an opinion on the controversial starter

good guy on and off the field, sign him to an extension!!

Epstein addressed many topics, and said he expects to implement a "Cubs Way" of doing things, from the bottom rung of the minors to Wrigley Field.

the "Cubs Way" has already been established, 103 years and going strong

As for the question of compensation, Epstein seemed to skirt the issue and admitted a third party would probably be needed to finalize compensation.

I've hired John Lackey's agent

"I mentioned in the article, and I cited Bill Walsh, on the theory that he and others have had that says that most coaches or executives gets about 10 years to make an impact. After that... it's time for a new challenge," Epstein said. "And that happens accross the board. You'll see that university presidents see their peak effectiveness in the first 10 years before they move on."

He's actually following the Pete Carroll model
  1. spend wildly to win titles
  2. begin to mismanage payroll
  3. use reputation to bolt for horrible team willing to overpay you

"Rebuilding," however, is not a word in Epstein's vernacular.

rebuilding assumes there was once something built there, building is the proper term

"That's just a buzzword in baseball that leads people down the wrong path," he said.

the path of rebuilding

"My personal approach is that it's best to use non-traditional scouting and objective analysis,"

nobody in Chicago knows what that means

He did refuse to speak specifically about payroll and a couple of onerous contracts, such as Alfonso Soriano's. "I have a personal policy never to comment on player payroll issues," he said.

until he actually saw Soriano's contract where he replied "WHAT THE $%@#!!!!"

"I think that there's a prime age for players. Maybe from 26 or 27 to 32, when you get the best production and bang for your buck,"

Soriano: 36 next season, signed for 3 more years at $18 million a piece

I believe that's the opposite of bang for your buck

"If we do our job in the right way, we should have the most players in their prime, hopefully home-grown players moving in to their prime. And there's certainly a role for veterans, but we'll pay for future performance, not for past performance."

Zambrano also making $18 million next season

Of course, it would not be an introductory news conference at Wrigley Field without the obligatory question about the curse. Epstein was ready for it.

I HAVE TO EXORCISE ANOTHER CURSE!?!? fml

If Francona had been retained, would Epstein have stayed?

"Yeah, (I'd) probably still there," he said. "That was a big part of the decision."


I can't let just anyone take the top bunk

You can expect Wrigley Field to eventually undergo changes much like Fenway Park. Epstein hinted that upgrading the stadium would lend itself to more revenue.

and possibly not being referred to as a dump

just make sure it's still fit to host a football game

Near the end of the press conference, Epstein references the movie Office Space as to what his last two weeks were like in Boston. "I felt like the guy in the movie Office Space, who kept showing up and nobody told him he didn't work there anymore," Epstein said. "So, I did end up in the basement with my cubicle and stapler, and I knew it was time to go to Chicago."

and blow up Fenway Park, nobody messes with my stapler

"We didn't run from that challenge," he said. "We embraced it."

Now there's a new challenge to embrace, and an army of fans willing to follow.


until about June




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