Thursday, July 28, 2011

Your guide to the stretch run Part 3, St. Louis

With a little over 2 months left in the season the NL Central appears to be headed for a four team race. Here is your handy cheat sheet for the teams and their corresponding cities. You decide who has the advantage.  Up next St Louis.

Part 1, Pittsburg(h)
Part 2, Cincinnati

St. Louis Cardinals  
  • No longer a football team
  • Originally the St. Louis Browns
    • Realized a team named the Browns would never be successful
      • When will Cleveland figure this out
    • Changed from Browns to Perfectos in 1899
      • Party like it's 1899!!
    • Changed to Cardinals a year later
      • Perfectos is a stupid name
    • Cy Young pitched for both the 1899 Perfectos and 1900 Cardinals
      • Only player to play for one team with 2 names and span 2 centuries
        • I assume this to be true, prove me wrong
          • I'm not the Elias Sports Bureau
    • Pete LaCock hit a grand slam off of Bob Gibson on the last pitch of Gibson's career
      • Pete LaCock
        • hehe
          • Chris Berman: "And it's Pete LaCock fighting going back back back...."
            • Sorry
    •  Rogers Hornsby won the triple crown in 1922
    • won the 1926, 1931, 1934, 1942, 1944, 1946, 1964, 1967, 1982, and 2006 World Series.
      •  1982, booooooooooooooo
    •  Have played in Busch Stadium since 2006, moving from neighboring Busch Stadium which had been their home since moving from Busch Stadium in 1966
      • Defeated the Brewers in the first game 
        • Son of a
      • Brady Clark was the first batter
        • facepalm
    • Once had the single-season home run record
      • 70*
    • Have not finished below .500 in a non-strike season since 1990
    • Jack Buck
      • WWII Purple Heart
      • Legendary radio play-by-play voice for half a century
      • Helped America start to live their lives after 9/11
      • Father of Joe Buck
        • 3 out of 4
    • Have the best hitter of the last 10 years in Albert Pujols
      • 431 HR's in his 11th season
      • Career .328/.421/.618
        • And he's done it without doing steroids
          • Supposedly
    • For the low low price of $85 you can have a bottle opener made from a broken bat 
      • Seems legit
    • They have an official mover 
    • The mascot's name is Fredbird
      • I see what you did there
    Fun facts about St. Louis
    • Located in Missouri
    •  Along the Mississippi River
      •  Head across the river for the real party
    •  Riverboats
      • that smell terrible from what I remember
    • Show Me's
      •  When Hooters is just too classy
    • Rumored to have a football team
      • Hockey, see above
    • A giant half of the McDonald's logo
    •  Founded in 1703 by fur trapper Ezekiel St. Louis
    •  Ice cream cone was invented in 1904 at the World's Fair
    • Seceded from St. Louis County in 1876 and is not in a county
      •  Why are there no World's fairs anymore??
      • Or even Country fairs
        • There is an  Oregon Country Fair
          • Not really what I had in mind
          • "genitals must be covered at these times"
            • Damn conservatives
      • Why are State Fair winners not allowed to compete at the next level??
      • How will we ever figure out if Iowa's first place hog is better than Missouri's??
        • It is
    •  Dr. Pepper was also introduced at the 1904 World's Fair
      • As well as iced tea
      • A few years later they would be responsible for 7Up
        • Originally called Bib-Label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Soda
          • How did that not catch on??
        • Later merging into Dr. Pepper/7Up
          • The soda industry's version of the Megapowers


    Damn you Honky Tonk Man
    • Hosted 1904 Olympics
      •  St. Louis ruled the world in 1904
        • I don't get it either
    •  Anheuser-Busch is the largest beer producing plant in the nation
      • I blame myself
          • Sorry
            • Fully support Miller when it's my only option
    •  The site of the demonic possession incident that inspired the book, and later the movie, "The Exorcist."
      •  About the only thing linking them to exercise
    •  Consume more barbecue sauce than any other city in America
      •  Sometimes they put it on food
    •  First publicly financed kindergarten
      •  First mass purchase of carpet squares
    • Population in 1950 was over 850.000
      • 2010 it was under 320,000
    • Kinda crimey 

    • Famous people from St Louis 
    • Charles Lindbergh
    •  Maya Angelou
      • Friend of Oprah
    • Yogi Berra
      • Smarter than the average Yankee
    • Chuck Berry
    • Fred Berry
      • Rerun
    • Linda Blair
      • The Exorcist
        • See exercise joke above
    • Cedric the Entertainer
      • Entertainer is a relative term
    • Chingy
      • Whatever
    • Bob Costas
      • The Bucks, the Careys
        • St. Louis' motto should be home of the douchey sportscaster
    • Jimmy Conners
    • Sheryl Crow
    • Miles Davis
    • Dan Dierdorf
      • Another crappy sportscaster, at least he played his sport first
    • Phyllis Diller
    • Max Factor
      • I buy all my makeup from them
    • Redd Foxx
    • Jon Hamm
      • Don Draper
    • Glenn Jacobs

    • Sonny Liston
    • Nelly
      • duh
    • Vincent Price
      • Dead....or not??
    • Joseph Pulitzer
      • Won 83 Pulitzer Prizes
        • Probably rigged
    • Harold Ramis
      • Ghostbusters!!
    • Dred Scott
      • Kinda important
    • Kimora Lee Simmons
      • Not so much
    • Mark Twain
    • Ike Turner
    • Earl Weaver
    • Tennessee Williams
      • Geography fail

    Final part next, Milwaukee.



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